Well, this is like a dream come true. First European tour starts in the new year. Yes, that's right, a tour that's not just a few runs around state lines. This is big, especially with the work on the new album. We've been on hiatus for some time now. After Jun bailed like the little bitch it wasn't easy to find a replacement, but hell didn't freeze over yet. I wasn't about to give up on this band even if some twinkling little starlet jumped in caused a rift that was already a thorn in my ass to begin with.

Things are smoother now, I'm not having to clean up everyone's messes. Touring with some big guns now, and that is what I always intended for this band.

Merry Fucking Christmas, I sure as hell am going to have one.

Am I surprised? Really? No. Not at all. Did I expect a little more from you? Yes. I did. As one of the founders of this band, yes Jun, I expected more than a little note that says whiny shit like 'I just can't do this anymore.' Get over your feelings, get over the girl and move on from this shit. I half expected this kind of emo bitch from Kyan, but you have progressively disappointed me in the last few months. Ease up kid, and do me a favor, give me back the bassist that didn't mope about like some lovesick puppy. You put yourself into this drama, so I don't want no whiny-nosed excuses. Really, I get enough of this from your little busted up boyfriend.

If you think leaving again is the answer, then by all means. Knock yourself out. I can replace you, even if it makes me feel almost sad to say that. I really dont like saying that. When you're over the drama, will you let me know so I can throw a party.

You'd think the shit hit the fan. I think my band is falling apart. Kyan does well, Jun hit's super bitch mode and Ash is driving me insane. I never mention you Brett because Lord knows you actually seem to not get on my bad side like everyone else.

Maybe I should just wipe the slate clean and start with some new guys, I don't know how I put up with the lot of you. You don't listen to a thing I say, and when I tell you to pick your head up and forget your damned life issues when you play on that stage, then by God that's what you do. It messes with your performance, and if we keep slipping like this that bright and shiny record label is going to give the boot before I do.

I'm not even going to go into how bad that bass was tonight, Jun. Just don't let it happen again. I don't care if you ended your few years in going relationship. It's about damn time, that's all I have to say. Suck it up and move on, you're the one that called it quits in the first place.

Considering circumstances, it's a rather good thing my bassist is back in the band. Finding a replacement has been hell, and while I have someone that may be a good fill-in, Jun came back just in time. Though I have to say Jun, your attitude is turning nasty. You were a mess before you left, and the time off was going to do you some good but now you're just a train wreck. You don't see it, but I can't have you performing like this. I have no qualms throwing you out if I feel it's for your own good. You've been with us from day one, and it pains me to say it but you look like shit. You need more time off and maybe, as much as it may hurt you to hear you need to just drop this. Maybe it's not working for you anymore, and maybe Cryptic Vision isn't the band for you that it once was. I'm not saying that's in the future, but it's just something for you to chew on. You know you are one of my best friends, and all I want for you is the best but lately you've become more of an emo kid than Kyan, and I never thought I'd say that to you.

Kyan's been doing well from this break, surprisingly and while he's pissed as hell at you---it's given him some strength. You need your strength back and I think you need to deal with your personal problems first. You need to deal with Kyan. You can't keep ignoring each other, it makes me want to kick you both in the ass.

And if this all has to do with Devyn, then by God boy just let her go. You are running yourself sick fawning after a girl that fact may be, just isn't suited for you. Well, she's perfect for you actually but her friendship with Kyan is never going to settle well with you and you know that.

If you need to talk, by all means give me a call, just don't expect me to baby you. I need you strong, healthy and the person I hired for the job in the first place. Okay buddy?

We have a concert coming in a week, if you don't shape up by then I've got a fill-in.

Well Ash finally got himself healed after putting him up on some high muscle relaxers and inflammatory meds. He was far less wound up than usual and I have to say it was a damn blessing. I actually could think myself through a rehearsal without him tweaked up to high volumes. It's almost as if the kid's on an ongoing speedway with no breaks. There have been numerous times I've been ready to strangle him or shoot myself in the head. He's wound up way too tight. I give you all the credit in the world Brett because I could not live with him.

New Year's was a bit on the easy-going side. That was until my so-called girlfriend dropped the parent bomb on me. They want to meet the tall, dark and handsome fellow that's been taking up their daughter's time. That's what she claimed they said, but I have a feeling her dear ol' daddy spelled it out in much more aggressive words. He's not happy I can tell, especially with how often he's been calling every time she comes over to see me. I'm 25, not stupid. I have a college degree and can speak five languages---I know what he's thinking. She's not been doing her studies as much and he probably suspects I've popped her cherry. Which I have not even attempted. Well...it counts to say I've tried to not attempt.

She's on the curious side which makes it hella difficult.

If I don't have to high tail it home with her during Spring Break, then they are parking their parental butts here for a visit. I am not parent meeting material. If I have to done a tie, glasses and slacks I'm a little petrified. I've not been in a tie and slacks that wasn't black in years. Not since high school. I don't done the squeaky-clean boy persona---so I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe this was a rather far fetched idea. Why the hell she's with me at this point I don't know. I've already been called old, cradle robber, and a lesbian. And that's just from strangers. It doesn't look promising. I haven't even told my mother yet that I'm actually dating someone, that would open a whole new can of worms.

We need a new gig. Soon. Or my brain's going to explode.

The demon known as my sister refuses to leave. Even in countless attempts to throw her out. I have no privacy. It's insufferable for a man to go to the bathroom in the morning and have his sister barge in to brush her teeth as if it's nothing out of the ordinary. Or the fact that my girlfriend can't come over without an interogation of questioning. Dear sister how do you expect me to ever get laid if you keep interrupting my make-out sessions. This is why I moved away in the first place. I feel like I'm stuck back in high school again with her tagging around like some rabid dog. A rabid dog that continues to try and analyze me as if I'm a science project. Apparently psychology is her thing and she's the expert on all the inner workings of my mind.

Tell me that this girl is not related to me. I don't see the resemblence. I still fully believe she was adopted.

I've been told often she's a female version of myself, only I'm the more feminine of the two. That puts a bad taste in my mouth...

I think it's time to kick some ass.

Kyan your face is looking mighty tempting. You break up this band now and I will hurt you beyond measure. Your chances of being the lead singer nowadays is looking mighty slim---I don't care how well the album is going. I can replace you easy.